


My Voice

by smileytiger28



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Fansong, M/M, Original Song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:16:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27972955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileytiger28/pseuds/smileytiger28
Summary: house and wilson have loved each other for a while, even if they've both been in denial of their own love (and oblivious to the other's). once it finally clicked for him, wilson wrote this song to lay his feelings bare before house.written13 October - 8 December 2020sheet musicat your service :)
Relationships: Greg House/James Wilson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	My Voice

I wake up to my alarm clock buzzing for a bit too long  
Sheets rustle, water drips out of the sink  
Keys jangle, my trash sedan it huffs and puffs and starts  
Amidst the muted highway roars I start to think:

Every word I hear goes through one ear and out the other one it flies  
All the sounds in which I drown are either white noise or white lies

I open the hospital doors and I leave my thoughts behind  
‘cause I’ve gotta believe the lies to tell ‘em like they’re true:  
You can make it, you won’t die, if we fight, if we hope, if we try…  
It’s ironic I can only talk straight with you

‘cause with you I can be honest, and say what’s on my mind  
There’s no one like you, that i’ve ever found, or will ever find  
I'm suffocating in a sea of thick, perfumey pleasantries  
familiar but not what I need ‘cause only with you can I breathe

I need to keep everyone happy at my own expense  
so any complaints I have, deep inside myself I force them  
‘Cause of this self-imprisonment, all my loved ones I resent  
so I avoid, break up with, or divorce them

if Adam was made of hardened clay  
I'm a preschool’s ball of play-doh  
I’ve lost my color and my shape,  
what they ever were I don’t know

How do I reiterate this? I’m the ship of Theseus  
I’ve lost my self amidst the thousands I’ve assumed  
With every act of empathy I force myself to feel as though I am,  
and so I am, and so I'm doomed

to be the punching bag’s punching bag, the confidante’s confidante  
to deny myself the pleasure of caring, of knowing what I want  
I'm sick of never making my own choices  
I'm hoarse from using other people’s voices

but

when I'm with you I sing, I sing  
When I'm with you I sing, I sing  
When I'm with you I sing, I sing  
When I'm with you I sing, I sing

(When I'm with you I sing)  
Our verbal gunfire’s a fugue, our fights duets

(When I'm with you I sing)  
The lilt in my voice blossoms into a melody

(When I'm with you I sing)  
We trade fours when we banter and dance when we sing tri-po-lets

(When I’m with you I sing)  
You push so hard that I can’t not push back, and in so doing, I find my identity  
When I'm with you I'm me

**Author's Note:**

> ### some specific episodes that inspired my outlook into wilson and house's relationship
> 
> season | episode | title | notes  
> ---|---|---|---  
> 4 | 14 | living the dream | the saga of wilson, amber and the water bed  
> 5 | 17 | the social contract | daniel wilson and the inception of jimmy's savior complex  
> 6 | 18 | open and shut | wilson, sam and the buildup of minor annoyances in their relationship  
>   
> ### other things
> 
>   1. as a musician, i tend to notice those people that clearly play with tone a lot when they're talking, so they might make amazing musicians, but they're also effectively tone deaf (or actually tone deaf) so they're totally 1) terrible at singing and 2) totally unaware of how they talk in such a sing-song-y way. anyway that's wilson, esp when he talks to house. just listen to him talk. he _sings_. so yeah that was the main inspiration for the biggest running metaphor of the song. (and of me writing a fansong instead of just a fic in the first place.)
>   2. i have a whole setup in mind as to how and when i want wilson to sing this to house, which would (initially) take place in a crossover fic universe i haven't started writing yet. (i will say this though: daniel helped him write the song! it's jimmy's full circle since daniel is the cause of his savior complex; see 5x17 "the social contract")
>   3. the song only has a guitar part and one vocal track because this is absolutely a white-girl-on-guitar song
>   4. [come say hi on tumblr :)](https://smileytiger28.tumblr.com/) i need some semblance of a social life
> 



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